INFIDELITY
The Devastation of Infidelity and Affairs
Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences a person can have. The pain that is created by this type of betrayal often feels unbearable. For many people, it is one of the most challenging and damaging emotional events in life. To complicate things, the more a person trusted and felt safe with someone, the more powerful and painful it feels when it happens. This pain can be debilitating. Typically, much healing is needed afterward, whether a person chooses to stay in the relationship or not.

There are many psychological and emotional problems that infidelity leaves in its wake.  Among the most commonly reported consequences of infidelity are:
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  • Lowered self-image
  • Damaged self-confidence
  • Loss of confidence in sexuality
  • Loss of trust and belonging
  • Loss of respect (for self and/or others)
  • Feelings of helplessness
  • Feelings of abandonment
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Feelings of humiliation
  • Feelings of rage
  • Feelings of shame and/or guilt
  • Feeling somehow to blame
  • Feelings of undesirability
  • Insecurity
  • Feelings of hostility
  • A need for vengeance
PARTNER BETRAYAL TRAUMA®
Have you been betrayed by your partner?
Partner betrayal trauma is a unique type of trauma that happens in marriages and significant romantic relationships. It occurs when a someone betrays the trust that was given to them by their spouse or significant other.  Although most of us think of this betrayal as primarily sexual, there are actually several ways that a person can be betrayed by his or her partner outside of a sexual affair. 
AREAS OF BETRAYAL

As all human beings are unique, the level of trauma experienced by each individual is also unique.  Experiences of betrayal can vary, and the same action can be experienced by one person as betrayal but leave another completely unaffected. That being said, here are some common areas where betrayal in a committed relationship can happen and be experienced as partner betrayal trauma®:

  • Having sex outside of the committed relationship
  • Emotional manipulation and/or "guilting"
  • Viewing pornography
  • Chronic masturbation
  • Physical attacks
  • Checking out other people on a regular basis
  • Staying in contact with exes
  • Emotional withdrawal and/or not sharing emotions
  • Constantly complaining to you about who you are, how you look, what you do, etc.
  • Making you “jump through hoops” to be loved (conditional love)
  • Giving you the “silent treatment”
  • Withholding emotional support from you
  • Silent disapproval
  • Online flirting
  • Habitually focusing only on their feelings, wants, and needs (self-centeredness)
  • Getting jealous and “punishing” you for it
  • Continually telling “white lies”
  • Disrespecting and/or criticizing you in front of other people
  • Emotional affairs and/or constantly turning to others for emotional support
  • Prioritizing work, hobbies, or other friendships over the relationship
  • Telling your secrets to other people
  • Shaming you around your spending, lying about financial issues, withholding important financial information, or generally controlling the money
  • Keeping secrets, including hiding outside friendships from you and/or not ending friendships after you’ve requested that they do so

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MOVING COUPLES FROM ​SHATTERED TO STRONG™
Seattle, WA